For one, I learned that being a fresh college graduate is tough. Well, in my situation it is because I'm starting on a different page. Meaning, I got all my schooling in the Philippines, having a sure-shot work there from the school I had my practicum and traded all that for a shot here in CA. It's tough trying to sell yourself in a paper. I hate this part of growing up. So today, I made myself useful. I checked out CBEST, I also checked out universities where I can get MA or graduate studies, I also googled "for-the-meantime" jobs and found myself bookmarking Virgin America and a photographer job in my town. They are decent and I'm kind of considering it for the meantime, while I wait for my college transcripts and diploma--which will be coming from another country. I want to challenge and prove to myself that I am a person who earned a degree and went to the number 1 university in the Philippines--University of the Philippines, Diliman.
I found myself e-mailing my friends and brother dear whom I authorize to do all my unfinished business regarding my graduation. I hope it turns out well. I think I don't know what I'd do if I found out I spent 4 years of my life in college and not being able to see the finish product which is being able to say that I graduated from college and I have proof! After all, that's what almost all employers tend to look for. I even e-mailed the HR person in the job I applied to a week ago and asked about the status of my job application and she said she's also waiting for the call to give her the go signal in calling applicants for a job. And then she emails me a flayer about this job fair in Solano County. I thanked her of course because that is really helpful of her. Bless her and her family.
I question my worth in this world. I want to prove something and make the most out of the things I've learned in school (I went all the way--Prep to College). But the situations never tend to go my way, they never seem to give me a chance to prove to them that I can be an asset. Maybe, I should just go back to my country--my comfort zone. I am struggling emotionally and mentally.
I also learned about The Indian Lake Project. It's scary and creeping me out. It's about this guy who is blogging about a box his uncle gave to him that had old pictures, documents and video inside that show that maybe the government were using children in mind control experiments. The thing that is scary about his blog is as he progresses in telling you things he's discovered he starts telling you how he's being followed and is getting weird phone calls, etc. That is what is freaking me out. Cause you know... if you mess up with the government and try to uncover something they want to stay hidden... well watch out. If you care to read this, this is one of the blogs that made me so afraid for this guy: In February, shortly after America’s Research Gate contacted me, I began to notice a large unmarked white van following me or showing up everywhere I went. This continued through March, until I was able to snap this photo of the van on my camera phone. Once they became aware that I knew I was being followed, it all stopped – that is until recently. As I said sometimes this van would just show up, they seemed to know when and where I was going to be. Which leads to my reason for not going into the woods anymore. On the way to explore the ILP further, I noticed two hunters with shot guns heading into the woods (it is NOT hunting season), and the unmistakable white van hidden behind trees and bushes well off the road. Needless to say I sped past at about 100MPH. I am posting this now because I feel that perhaps the more I speak out, and the more people who know about me and the Indian Lake Project – the safer I'll be. And I thought these things only happen in movies.
Right now, I am trusting God. I miss Him. =( I want to hear His Word. I am thirsty and I feel lost.
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